It's incredible how quickly that precious alone time (when you can actually get stuff done) evaporates, isn't it? You'd think an hour and a half was ample time to steal some moments for, say, reading a book, or writing a blogpost, but after completing the morning chores - cleaning up after baby's breakfast (how can a mess so big come from a person so small?), jumping in and out of the shower, throwing on some clothes, making a coffee, maybe sticking on a load of washing - you're lucky if you get 45 minutes.
I hadn't fully appreciated how valuable these fleeting moments of calm are until last week, when Alice went back to work and I assumed the role of Eliza's primary carer. Let me just say, anyone who thinks that being at home with the kid(s) is easy or like a holiday is fu- hang on, hold that thought, she's woken up. Back in a few hours...
... ok, I'm back. Where was I? Oh yeah, I was saying that being at home with the kid(s) is not a picnic. Actually, sometimes it literally is a picnic - that's the good part - but it's certainly not like being on holiday, which is often how it's portrayed by people who have no clue: 'Oh you jammy bastard,' they will say, 'I wish I could get four weeks out of the office.'
I totally get it. Normally speaking, even if you've got the best work pals in the world, being at home is better than being at work. At home you're just more comfortable: you can lounge about in bed, watch TV, make extravagant lunches - you don't even have change out of your pyjamas. But when you're looking after a baby, it's a bit different. I do sometimes look down and realise I'm still wearing my PJs, but that's because I haven't been able to leave Eliza unattended for more than five seconds without triggering a meltdown.
Basically, the best thing about being at home - being able to do what you want - well, you don't really have that because everything revolves around the baby. All things considered, you certainly have more autonomy at work.
That's not to suggest, however, that I wou- oh, she's woken up. Back tomorrow...
So the point I was about to make is that, despite it not being a breeze being a stay-at-home parent, it's also way more rewarding than being sat at your desk answering emails all day. And if you're lucky enough to have the opportunity to be able to do it, I would certainly recommend it, even if it's only for a relatively short time like me.
I should point out at this juncture that the reason I'm at home with Eliza at the moment is that I'm taking advantage of the fairly new legislation (enacted in 2015) that entitles parents to share up to 50 weeks of leave following the birth of a child (which you can take together or separately and in up to three separate blocks). It's not the kind of thing that employers are disposed to advertise, so it wouldn't be at all surprising if many of you hadn't realised it was a thing, but it's really quite wonderful - if you are able/willing to take the financial hit.
I'm back in the office next Monday, so my shared parental leave experience is nearing its end - which is a shame because I've really loved it. I don't know if I would continue to love it quite as much if I were doing it for, say, six months - I might go slightly mad from the lack of adult conversation - but to have had this quality time with my baby during this period (she's coming up to nine months) has been very special. At the risk of being pegged as a total cheeseball, I feel like my bond with her has really grown because of it.
Of course this will only make next week - when she starts at the childminder - all the harder. In preparation for the full handover we've got a succession of transitional days this week, which will be interesting. I'll let you know how it goes.
Oh, great timing, she's just woken up. Bye!
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